Using assertive communication means having the ability to recognize one’s own wants and needs, and the willingness to act on them in a clear and respectful way. It also means being able to recognize and express your feelings, views, beliefs, and personal choices in a firm and decisive manner.
This piece will focus on five ways to become more assertive in your daily interactions. Let’s begin by briefly identifying three distinct communication styles.
Aggressive communication style – These individuals are only concerned with themselves and getting what they want. They might resort to tactics like manipulation, guilting, bullying, or acts of force to get what they want.
Passive communication style – These individuals put the wants and needs of others before their own. They have difficulty saying no even if it brings inconvenience or hardship their way. They always feel the need to please others.
Assertive communication style – These individuals have clearly defined wants and needs. They can express their feelings, views, beliefs, and personal choices. They are firm, yet respectful when making decisions even if it means saying no or disappointing someone. Assertive communicators feel empowered and can confidently speak with purpose.
Importance of Setting Clear Boundaries in Your Life
Curious to know what your personal boundaries say about you?
Better yet, have you taken the time to set clear boundaries in your life?
Being assertive means having the ability to clearly define and state your individual wants and needs. This includes having the capacity to express feelings, points of view, beliefs, and personal life choices in a respectful manner even when they differ from those nearby. Setting clear boundaries is a way of separating the things you choose to allow from all the things that are not allowed.
ACTION STEP 1: SET CLEAR BOUNDARIES
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Recognize Your Priorities and Say No to Everything Else
Being assertive means having the ability to recognize your priorities in life. It means clearly defining your individual wants and needs. This includes welcoming things that interest you and being comfortable saying no to those things that aren’t a good fit.
If you have trouble saying no to other people, then take notes as you watch the following coaching video. You’ll get an easy-to-apply tip that is sure to help.
ACTION STEP 2: SCRIPT BASIC RESPONSES
Are You Clear on Your Own Self-Worth?
When you know how valuable you are and what you deserve in life, then it becomes easier to attract the things you want. It also makes it a lot easier to say no to the things that don’t serve or interest you. Getting clear on your own self-worth is a powerful way to boost self-confidence and self-esteem. Doing so will also encourage more activities that promote self-love.
Do you want to be happier in life and create greater life fulfillment? If so, take one step today toward realizing your worth.
ACTION STEP 3: KNOW YOUR WORTH
How to Use Assertive Communication Effectively
No matter who you are, having difficult conversations can still be stressful and can stir unwanted negative emotions. It’s not easy saying no to someone, especially when the person is close or important in your life. Having to refuse an offer can be disappointing for the other person and can cause feelings of anxiety or stress on your end.
Experiencing these unwanted negative emotions can lead to a breakdown in communication, which means both parties will suffer. The coaching video below explains how to use assertive communication effectively. You’ll learn ways to keep calm during stressful situations to bring about better and more effective communication.
ACTION STEP 4: KEEP YOUR COOL
Practice Using Assertive Communication Skills in Everyday Situations
For many passive communicators, the idea of being more assertive is a desirable goal but can seem like a destination that is a long way off. The video below discusses a few everyday situations that will provide real-world opportunities for you to practice asserting yourself.
Don’t overwhelm yourself by trying to make drastic changes all at once. Make incremental adjustments every day. Over time, those minor adjustments will be a major and noticeable difference. Remember to look for daily situations to practice the skills you learned here.
ACTION STEP 5: TAKE BABY STEPS
Need Coaching to Improve Your Assertive Communication Skills?
This article and the accompanying videos provide powerful tips to help you improve your assertive communication skills. These are skills that should be practiced every day.
Use these coaching tips to practice communicating in a more assertive way and start seeing dramatic changes in your life.
If you want specialized coaching to help develop your assertive communication skills, then reach out to me. Let’s explore ways that I can add value to your personal and professional development.
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